Because you know, it isn’t Friday enough!
If I’ve learned anything from “As Seen On TV” product advertisements (you know, the ones with the blue “Call Now!” screen) and infomercials, it is that the people depicted are morons who don’t know how to adult…or exist. You’d watch them and say, “I really hope nobody is this stupid,” only to go out into the world and realize that yeah, stupid people exist.
They also procreate, vote, drive, and ascend to the highest levels of career success. They’re the ones God probably watches out for. Not because they’re religious types, but because they need it.
God help us all when it comes to these brain trusts.
And then there’s me. Smart, resourceful, and someone who manages to defy White People Problems with the tenacity of a true Administrative Professional.
Anyway, I didn’t come here to talk about White People Problems and being resourceful in a not-so-resourceful crowd. I’m all about being above it, but unfortunately, advertising doesn’t know it.
The year is 1988. You want the perfect cup of coffee, but you need a coffee filter for Mr. Coffee to do his job.
Your wife – the brains behind the marriage – has just gotten an easy way to dispense coffee filters.
She says to herself (but loud enough for the camera crew living in your house to hear) “This will make dispensing coffee filters easier!”
Enter you. The husband.
Yes, dear. Blow the dust and asbestos off of the coffee filters you found in the cabinet!
But it gets better…click play and see how!
Because he’s a guy with Man Problems (this was before the days infomercials depicting White People Problems), he can’t quite get the hang of removing a filter from the package…
*Sigh* Third rate John Stossel! Do you know how many coffee filters you’ve wasted?!
But his overworked (and overacting) wife sees his predicament, and shows him the solution to his problems…
Coffee filter dispenser! Of course!
Yes…generically-named Coffee Filter Dispenser. Because removing a coffee filter is brain surgery!
And if you call now, during this holiday special offer…
One for you, one for someone else who also suffers from Man/Stupid People Problems.
Here’s how to order!
Don’t mess with Texas…and don’t forget to add sales tax!
*Headdesk* and *facepalm* Man he’s an idiot. I know they pay these actors (I hope, and not just in the advertised product!) to look and act this ridiculous, but this guy really takes the cake. Not since The Room has someone overacted and chewed the scenery more than Coffee Filter Idiot/Third Rate John Stossel and his wife.
Her reaction to husband pulling out all the coffee filters is hilarious. the only thing that would have made this even funnier was if she ran in breathing heavy from exertion.
You see this and say, “As Seen On TV couldn’t possibly be any more hokey than it is, can it?”
Come back tomorrow for a bonus, since seeing is truly…believing?
Have a fantastic Friday, and a great weekend!