Spam Comments

Did you ever take the opportunity to really read through the spam Akismet catches?

I’m working on the Admin side of my blog this morning.  As I’m usually busy putting out my “latest and greatest,” I don’t spend alot of time on the Admin side, aside from checking notifications and responding to comments and approving pingbacks (mainly of my own doing).  So an opportunity to check it has yielded some rather interesting finds.

Of course, “interesting” applies to the fact that someone/thing wrote such horribly penned words.  The actual content is a bit painful on the eyes.

I left the comments completely unaltered (aside from italicizing them), and removed the hyperlinks. Because the only way to truly enjoy such an assault on the eyes is to leave it in its natural state.

That all said…

This Opportunist…

If you are going for most excellent contents like me, just pay a visit this website daily because it gives quality contents, thanks

In response to…


Yes, in response to “Animated Joan Crawford.”  Not the actual post it came from, but the photo.  The individual photo!

And it isn’t about you, spammer.  This is my blog!

The same photo also got this “comment”:

Quality posts is the crucial to invite the people to pay a quick visit the website, that’s what this web site is providing.

Glad this random screenshot proides such an amazing service!

Lots of New Stuff…

I just like the valuable info you supply to your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I’m relatively sure I will be told lots of new stuff proper right here! Best of luck for the next!

For the next? Valuable info?  Lots of new stuff proper?!

Dude, you’re just buttering me up, aren’t you?

These Attempts At Pleasant Comments…

I really love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme. Did you develop this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m trying to create my very own blog and would like to find out where you got this from or what the theme is named. Many thanks!

I’d actually think this bordered on a legit comment, but I’m wiser than that.

I like the helpful info you provide on your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and test again here regularly. I’m fairly certain I will be told many new stuff right right here! Best of luck for the next!

Yep, helpful info.  Now I know it is spam.  And I found my article excerpt within these hilarious comments.

“For the next!” For the next what?!

“Tasty Resource”

This blog has insightful content that makes it a tasty resource for industry workers, as well as people who love good food. We can build up your following for your social media pages, so that you can get more readers to your blog. Our team use a dynamic, interest-based method that gains REAL followers. Read what this blogger has to say about BrandBuilders and look up Brandbuilders now, to read more about us and get your completely free trial!

It was in response to this post.  Which may have been about applesauce.

I Enjoy Writing Funny/Random Crazy Stories Too!

I’m an autistic person and one of the things I enjoy doing is writing funny/random crazy stories that make me laugh (maybe they make you laugh too?) My blog is at Maybe you’d also consider giving a small donation to help me survive? Life as an autistic person is kind of difficult to say the least, and it’s especially difficult to survive financially and so that is why I am requesting donations. Please check my blog for ways you can donate. Thank you very much for your kindness!

But you have an actual domain name, so obviously you are “surviving” just fine.

I Want To Help You…

Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at. Seo Plugin

Panda.  That’s all I got from this.

I would seek out your advice, but seriously, I obviously know how to write better than you.

One Word Comment


“Is it me you’re looking for?”


Um, what?

“I’ve Got Some Suggestions…”

Does your site have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email.  I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing.

Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it develop
over time.

Did I ever tell you about the last time someone told me they had a suggestion for me?

Yeah, I hate that word.  That’s what happened.  I started hating that word.

Flowery Words Of Praise…

Attractive post!
Your site is very charming and your thinking is very touching.
Thanks for your good post and wait for your next one.

This lovely comment came from “Shuttle to Port Canaveral Transportation,” and uses words like “charming” and “touching.”  Words I’m sure don’t apply to 99% of what I write about, but thanks for your praise, Possibly Legit Transportation Method!

Variations of This Comment, By Several People

Wonderful Blogpost thank you for sharing.

Because originality is awesome!


Here’s Your Opportunity To CLONE My Entire Proven Internet Business System Today! making money online could not be easier.

Tell me more…oh wait, no link?

Well darn.

Word Of Mouth…

I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I’m no longer positive whether this post is written via him as nobody else recognize such designated about my problem.
You’re incredible! Thank you!

You start off with the recommendation by a family member, then a problem you don’t disclose, and then tell me I’m incredible.

Um, thank you?  Thank you to your cousin?

Praised by “Fox News”

I couldn’t refrain from commenting. Veery well written! I havbe bbeen sufing on-line mire tan tnree hurs today, yeet I never foundd any interestinhg artijcle lik yours. It iis lvely value sufficiewnt for me. In my view, iff aall site owners andd bloggers mare goo conten material
ass yoou probabl did, thhe iinternet wikll probably bee allot mofe uswful tjan evsr before. I coulkd nott resxist commenting.

Very wepl written!

After my eyes stopped burning, I saw “ass” within” the comment.  And if I needed a reason to not like Fox News, I found it.

And finally, this patriot of men’s causes…

This He-Man Woman Hater…

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN! I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women? American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least. This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

This spam comment was in response to my It’s Your Move recap’s screenshots, and brought to you by “John Rambo, Anti-Feminist Soldier.”


Not an actual representation.  The real “John Rambo” is a ‘bot that cranks out spam (judging by the amount of spam left for me), or some spurned-by-women guy.

And after all that reading and laughing…I deleted the spam.

There really wasn’t much more to do with it.


  1. The spammers in the last few months were trying a copy and paste comment with a Thai link at the end for a casino site. That was a new one, but they seem to have stopped. And then there’s the usual one about a kid sister throwing your phone off a bridge to see what happens, or an anonymous person asking you to shoot them an email as they want to apprentice blog… or the old story about holding a shell to your ear to hear the ocean, and having a crab pinch you.

    The Boycott wanker seems to be gone, at least for now, as that site has expired. I remember that he spammed me once or twice with pretty much the same rage filled comment. He struck me as the sort who raged at his own mediocrity and who’d meet a bad end. Which, since he’s been inactive in quite a long while, he might well have met that bad end.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My favorite spam comment of all time was “we lick your blog so muchly and eventually will blog on you too”………I am still not quite sure how they are going to “blog on” me. Gotta love the spam!


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