Posted in Holidays, Throwback Thursday, TV/Movie Stuff

#ThrowbackThursday Vaguely Insults the Children (Sorry, Not Sorry)

It’s December 1st, and we’re kicking off Christmas on Allison’s Written Words!

I couldn’t think of a better way to start off the holiday season than by going to see a Christmas movie in the theater.  I’m sure there’s plenty I could easily choose from, but I’ve taken alot of careful thought in deciding on what I’d like to see, and well, I’ve decided on seeing a timeless tale of Santa being abducted by aliens for the purpose of entertaining alien children.  It’s a glorious tale, shot for about ten bucks, it stars Pia Zadora, and has this really awkward laughing scene that makes me cringe everytime I think about it.

I’m seeing Santa Conquers the Martians, and I may leave the theater crying over the lost 2 hours I’ll never get back…because of laughter, because I’m seeing RiffTrax Live’s treatment of the film.  Because I didn’t get to in 2013, and I’m apparently in the mood for Christmas torture.  Which is torture, but with “Jingle Bells.” Or, in this case, “Hooray for Santy Claus!”

Torture is fun…and now mutual!

Today’s RiffTrax Live short comes from the December 3, 2015 showing of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny,  and was one of several shorts shown that night.  The first short (the oldest our Fabulous Three have ever riffed) comes to us from lord knows when (the 1930s, maybe?).

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The short is called Santa Claus’ Story, and no, it’s not the story of how Santa Claus came to be.  Because Rankin/Bass got it right, and we’ll accept it as fact.  This story is actually (besides older than anything Rankin/Bass did), well, Santa Claus telling a story to two kids, Virginia and Jackie.

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Virginia is clearly excited for the idea of Santa’s story, but Jackie, on the other hand…

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Either that or he is a really intense hanger-on of words.

The story Santa tells has something to do with Christmas, but moreseo with…monkeys?

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Which makes sense…or doesn’t.  I’m not 100% sure on this. But what I am sure about?  This may be an exercise in that whole creationism versus evolution debate.

There’s also some copyright infringement by Santa (you’ll understand should you choose to watch).  Also, a giant superimposed Santa may be a Dark Overlord who wants to claim your soul, but again, I’m not 100% sure on that.

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And if you like the lovely visuals you’ve seen here (and how could you not?) this short is from RiffTrax Live: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.  I’d love to encourage you to consider purchasing the full show from their website.  It’s terrible, but it’s a festive kind of terrible…I think.

And speaking of festive terribleness, tomorrow’s Flashback Friday certainly meets that criteria.  Come back and see what unwraps tomorrow!

But for now, accept Santa Claus as your Lord, Savior, and Dark Overlord.  He sees you when you’re sleeping, and knows when you’re awake, after all.

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Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Author:

Writer, former dancer, geek, nostalgia geek, Secretary by day, daughter, sister/in-law, girlfriend, aunt. Yankees and Giants fan, honorary Avenger (I have a pin, so it is official :-) ), MSTie, and Stargate, Thor, and Hello Kitty collector. And if you want to know anything about me: https://allisonveneziowrites.com/about-allison

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