Because once wasn’t enough…
There’s Clickbait, and Then There’s Info Button Bait…
Make no mistake, infomercials are the original clickbait sensation. Ever since Ron Popeil donned a sweater and told us to “set it and forget it,” someone spray-painted hair to their head, Time Life told us we needed that compilation of decade-specific songs in our music collection, and Suzanne Sommers had us squeezing our way to stronger thigh muscles, we’ve been a sucker for “As Seen on TV” and its amazing promises.
By the way, my niece’s pediatrician – a friend from my seven years of dance school – was in medical school after coming from the Philippines and saw a commercial late at night for the Thigh Master. She was so blown away that she bought it, and years later told the story of it. My teacher, the type to just latch on to a hilarious story of money-wasting efforts made at 3 am, imitated the Thigh Master.
She informed us that it didn’t work.
Anyway, infomercial bait…
Several weeks back, I was getting ready for bed, but needed to scroll through the channel lineups. I know for a fact that nothing is on late at night, but I was curious, and well, I found a few things…
100% Male
Here’s the top three things I garnered from a Google search…
Yeah, 2.1 stars. This stuff MUST work!
Oh, and one of those Amazon comments mentioned hair loss. Totally safe, people!
Shake Your Money Maker…Or Cut Meat With It…
Side story: My boyfriend sold (terribly, he alledges) CutCo knives, which I’m likely assuming was his gateway drug to kitchen gadget obsession.
Anyway, this infomercial…
When I think “Box Full of Business” or “Bowie Blowout,” I’m thinking box of office supplies and Laser David Bowie (respectively), not knives. I’m not even sure where the title came from! Do they say “money maker” constantly during this infomercial, or is this the company’s not-so-subtle code phrase for “how we bilk the public out of lots of money!”
I’d love to know!!!
Only Because Chuck Norris Wasn’t Available This Week…
And the undisputed winner of “Bizarre Infomercial Titles”…this infomercial!
And this is DirecTV’s description…
Join legendary entertainer Dick Van Dyke as he explores Tai Cheng, a 90-day program shown to improve balance, reduce pain and have you feeling younger and more confident. It’s time to enjoy a life free of pain and immobility!
Their title, you ask?
Tai Cheng Master Dick Van Dyke
Folks, I’m done. I’m laughing way too hard at all of this!
Have you ever seen the two-minute commercials for products that are endorsed by Cathy Mitchell?
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OMG yes, always on Comet and Antenna TV!
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