Daily Post Writing Prompt – Tainted Love

In response to this Daily Post Writing Prompt:

Ever been dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend? Was it a total surprise, or something you saw coming? Tell us your best worst breakup story. Never been the dumpee, always the dumper? Relate the story of a friend who got unceremoniously kicked to the curb. Change the names to protect the innocent if you must.

I’ve been both the dumper and the dumpee.  I’ll admit that anytime it has happened (I’m guilty of being a three-timer in this club), it hasn’t come as a surprise.  In one instance, I asked the other half to end the relationship (I was in my early 20s at the time, it felt like a high school relationship), another other half he dumped me the first time, and I dumped him the second time, and my last relationship (which ended last year), I walked away from the relationship.  In all cases, I’d had enough of the pettiness of arguments, the overwhelming personality flaws, and in the most recent case, the unhappiness of the other half threatening to take me down.

I tend to wind up in relationships with people who aren’t in good places in their lives, guys who are broken because of past experiences with relationships, broken because of things that have happened in their lives, the refusal to communicate, and in one case, someone who had planned on cheating on me with his best female friend (but chose not to follow through). I am not in a relationship to fix someone’s fragile psyche, or to boost one’s ego.

When I enter a relationship, it’s because I’m looking for someone to move through life with, someone to be my best friend, someone to take on the world with me.  I look for someone who is in a good place in their life, loves what they do for a living, and seeks a relationship that is meaningful.  It doesn’t have to be exciting and new everyday, but it does need to be a commitment that goes 100% on both sides. In all instances, I felt like I was giving more than I was getting in return, and it made it hard to stay in the relationships.  And that whole “looking for a meaningful relationship stuff”?  Only worked for the other person as long as I was giving them what they needed, with no regard to how I felt.  I have some slightly old-fashioned values, but I don’t believe in certain things as a cure-all for a relationship, or a fix to what is already broken.  And I don’t believe in it when there is an argument, and “this will make it all better.” I believe that when a relationship is strong and there is a deeper bond, then these things come of their own accord.

In all of this, there is actually a happy ending – I began a relationship with my boyfriend (We’ve been together since November, but have known him since May), that began on the friendship level, allowing for time to develop and a strong bond to form.  He’s in a great place in his love – loves his job, has a dog, and was happy when not in a relationship, and believes that being with the right other half is a bonus of life.  That’s exactly how I feel my life is since I ended my last relationship.

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With my boyfriend/partner-in-crime, James (he wouldn’t mind me using his name, and he actually has seen the boyfriend I was with until last year in action…and has his own opinion of him. 🙂 )

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