What Were They Thinking?!: Yet More Old Timey Print Advertsements!

Related Links

Old Timey Christmas Print Ads That Really Exist! (Originally Published December 9, 2014)

Allison Looks At More Old Timey Print Ads! (Originally Published January 2, 2015)

Old Timey Print Ads: The Father’s Day Edition (Originally Published June 21, 2015)

I know what you’re thinking.

“That Allison, she’s running out of ideas.”

That Allison resents the thought.

That Allison actually had this on her computer:

File Folder Capture

Oh yes, she does.  Because when you find material you enjoy writing about, why not have an entire folder dedicated to it?

As I said in my Father’s Day print advertisement post, looking at print advertisements is not new hat for me – it’s something I’ve done on (now) three occasions.  It is never for lack of interesting/better/marginally appealing ideas, but moreseo because I just happen to have a file folder of them lying around in my Pictures folder.

So in this riveting presentation, we’ll take a look at several more old timey print ads – displays of ink and paper that make us nostalgic for a time when women were third class citizens, smoking was endorsed by doctors, and hot tubs are bad places to be when your bodily functions go haywire…or not.  All depends on your mood.  Most of the ads contained herein are “old timey,” but there are a few that are somewhat newer (but certainly not new by any means).  You’ll figure that out rather quickly.


So many questions come to mind when I see an ad like this (which is obviously not “old timey,” but Game Gear isn’t exactly new, either).  For one…who plays Game Gear naked?!  And why would Sega want to associate their handheld with the art of…”pleasure”?  Look at that boldfaced print – “It will fulfill your wildest fantasies.”  Yup, playing Sonic the Hedgehog on a tiny screen does that for me.


We can also vote, work as auto mechanics, cook badly, and go against the societal norms put on females.  But, don’t make us open a ketchup bottle!  We’re not that advanced!


On the floor, next to a pair of stinky shoes you’ve been wearing all day…conditioning us to have a foot fetish.  This is so you can look up to the man in your life…from beneath him.  You know, where you belong.


Not sharing the same hot tub as this guy, that’s for sure.

Seriously, I thought people aren’t allowed in pools or hot tubs with raging bowels.  And how did this guy land these women?!


Yeah, sure, why not?  What did the redheaded office vixen do now, Third Rate Dean Martin?


The long-awaited sequel to “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” and “100 Ways to Say Goodbye.”


Yes they do!  They need the energy derived from candy in cellophane to run through my yard like the little neighborhood hellraisers they are.  Remember, if it’s not candy in cellophane, it’s JUNK!


Ironic that a company with a well-known children’s hospital named after it would endorse suffocating a child with CELLOPHANE!

Cellophane, you just know how to say all the right things, don’t you?


Pep, vigor, and sugared up kids.  Vitamin Donuts and Candy in Cellophane – combating the growing trend of sedentary children everywhere!


She’s a slut, y’all.  But perhaps you can tame her and her “everyone’s pal” image?


This ad implies that not being white means you didn’t wash with Fairy Soap.  Of course, I thought it was actually advertising a free “playmate” for your rich spoiled brat of a child.


Imperfect hair is not worth dying for.  But perfect hair is!


Because they make enough money off of the insurance company to give you advice they refuse to follow!

And that about does it.  Here’s to the promise of something different next.  And I do have other material coming, I just couldn’t resist one of my favorite subjects!

Related Links (Because, well, this has been done before and all!)

Old Timey Christmas Print Ads That Really Exist! (Originally Published December 9, 2014)

Allison Looks At More Old Timey Print Ads! (Originally Published January 2, 2015)

Old Timey Print Ads: The Father’s Day Edition (Originally Published June 21, 2015)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s