Welcome to #FlashbackFriday, where the only thing more ridiculous than the title is…
You know what? The title is the only thing ridiculous about the whole thing.
In the last two installments of #ThrowbackThursday and #FlashbackFriday, we looked at one thing kids love…realistic toy guns and creepy pull-string dolls. We watched Kurt Russell train to be a sercret agent before he could shave, three kids who loved the creepiness of a Casper the Friendly Ghost talking doll, and a doll that demands you read it stories and change its dress…all at the pull of a string. We loved what we saw.
Or we were desperately trying to keep our souls where they belong. I’m not really sure.
Today, we move forward to the magical year of 1986, and look at another thing kids love…overly-sugared-up juice drinks with tons of Vitamin C, kids who obviously aren’t singing, and the girls who apparently get all excited over the existence of both Hi-C AND kids who obviously aren’t singing…but only because they are obviously not singing either.
It’s more complicated than it sounds. Obviously.
So we’ve got some kind of 1950s-style song, sung by some tall skinny kid and Not Really His Voice, while accompanied by his shorter, suspender-clad sidekick…also with Not Really His Voice.
His sidekick’s voice is slammin’ for being Not Really His Voice. Just sayin’.
And they have a cute group of girls to serenade…who are all obviously using Not Really Their Voices.
This group is singing the praises of Hi-C, because it tastes so wonderfully (*deep voice* wonderfully!), and has lots of Vitamin C (shoo-be-doo-wahhh!).
Mr. Voice Over then breaks in to remind you to stock up on Hi-C nine packs, which are available in six different flavors…
Hey, that’s only three flavors! Such lies and trickery – show us fancy footage of marching drink boxes and then tell us there’s six flavors when you clearly only want us to know about three of them.
But they don’t care about the lies, they know you’re gonna love…
Watch out Mickey Mouse Club, Pre-Milli Vanilli (and Their Female Backup Lip-Syncers) will be taking over the music world with their vocal stylings.
Ok fine, they’re taking over the street . But the world can come next. Perhaps the street IS the world to them. I’m not sure, I’m just the writer of these words.
Just click play on the video, and stop giving me dirty looks.
And there you have it, another week over, and another week of retro done.
Come back next week, when we do it all over again!
Have a wonder(fully) weekend!
Hey, where are you going?!