#TotallyTrueFactsTuesday – September 11, 2018

Let me tell you about the weirdest thing I’ve ever shipped via FedEx.

But first, a little background!

I worked at a golf course until 2010, and I’d sent items like golf clubs, clothing purchases, hats, and even golf clubs through the bigger parcel companies.  FedEx and UPS were regular visitors for drop offs and pick ups.

My boss had one rule about shipping – everything went via UPS and it ALWAYS went ground shipping (least expensive shipping method available).  We had a guy who needed his golf clubs shipped to Las Vegas after a tournament one time.  No problem, we said.  My supervisor got a box big enough to contain them, we packed it up, I set up shipping, and off it went the next day.  Five business days and it would arrive at its destination.

Our boss, ever the “I don’t trust these guys, but especially Allison” type, called my supervisor on a Sunday afternoon to see if the clubs had been shipped after the tournament the previous week.  I was already home by that point, so he called me just as I was headed out to do some shopping.  I informed him (in my most professional tone), “They shipped out on Monday afternoon.  Ground is five business days shipping, so he will have them tomorrow.”  My supervisor, ever satisfied (he was easy to please, unlike our boss), thanked me and told me to enjoy the rest of my afternoon.

The guy called to thank us the next day.

I also shipped Mike Ditka’s clubs two years in a row back to Illinois at his club.  The last year I did that was the same year I entertained my supervisor (who was also easily amused) with my Chris Farley impression from that one Superfans sketch: “You’re my Ditka!  I’m her Ditka!”

I say all this to prove that I’m a bit experienced in the “if it fits, it ships” routine of life.  However, one such shipment really took the cake.

If I ever needed a reason to go out on a high note, it was everything that happened in 2009.  That year was proof that I needed a new job.

A guy came in on crutches one afternoon to pay for his tee time.  I was curious about how he was going to golf on crutches, but I saw he was missing part of a leg.  Oh ok, I thought – he probably wears a prosthetic lower leg.

I was right – he did wear a prosthetic leg!

At the end of his round, he left with his group, but it was the phone call I got an hour later that surprised me.

The guy left without his prosthetic leg.

Seriously, he took off his leg, changed, got on his crutches, and left.  I had seen him on crutches one more time, but I assumed he just packed up his…leg…and left.

Oh he left, but not with his leg.

So, my boss (the one without a sense of humor) told me to ship it back.  The guy gave me his credit card number and address over the phone, and told me to send it Fedex to the address he gave me.  No problem, I thought.

Now, I need a FedEx box.

Remember the whole “if it fits, it ships” credo?  Well, I found a box, and it fit, so…I shipped it.

Honestly, I packed the prosthetic in a large FedEx box (one of those rectangle boxes, so not even that big of a box), and shipped it off to Maryland and a guy waiting for it so he could golf again.


I never heard any followup about it, so I’m assuming, nine years later, that the leg made it safely.  Perhaps the guy is using it.  Right now.

I never saw him again, and I left about six months later.  But I’ve never forgotten this story.  I’ve actually told it quite a few times over the years, and it still makes me laugh that I had to do this.  That my boss was the person he was to make that a thing I did.

But hey, at least I have a great story about the time I made sure someone was reunited with their leg.

Next week, another story you may not know about me, but is totally true!

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