Fight or Flight

This Daily Post writing prompt from May 31, 2013 asks an important question of character.

When faced with confrontation, do you head for the hills or walk straight in? Was there ever a time you wished you’d had the opposite reaction?

I am definitely the “head for the hills” type.  I’m not one to confront or fight back, which has been a huge problem for me as long as I can remember.  I don’t like to argue with others – nothing is worth hateful namecalling and discussion escalating into an argument. Everything lately seems to be an argument, and I’m wondering if that was the case five years ago, when this prompt was published.

Being backed into a corner that gets me.  I’m not the fastest thinker when a situation gets out of hand (with the exception of the workplace, I can always think fast when it is work-related), and I’m not the calmest head in the room either.

I would have loved to have had the opposite reaction when I was in high school.  There was a group of girls who bullied and picked on me because they could, because I would never fight back.  I acted like the bigger person, not stooping to their level of ignorance, but I also ignored (well, I tried to ignore them) and went about my business.  They did things to get a rise out of me, and while it got my hackles in a rise, I refused to confront them.  I wish I had.  I wish I had gone back at them, or had a support system of friends to stick by me.  I had friends, but none that would ever have helped when it mattered most.

As an adult (I’m in my mid-thirties now), I’ve regretted not being a little bit more tough, but I also knew that these girls were good at ensuring teachers never saw anything.  That would never have been my luck.  It would have been my word against theirs, and when it came to that, the outcome may not have been good.  I didn’t want to get in trouble.  It was rough, but I survived my bullying.  I grew up, as did they.  I don’t keep in touch with them, and don’t care to know what they are doing.  I’m sure they’ve moved on as well, at least, I hope they did.  Perhaps they’re adults who realize they did the dumbest thing as kids. I’m not giving them a second glance in life (except in this reflection), so they are likely doing the same.  If I ran in to them, I’d say hello.

I’m glad I likely never will have that opportunity, but it would be fun for them to see how my life turned out.