Posted in Holidays, Nostalgia

Christmas Albums: Badder, More Ugly, and Just Plain Strange

Related (Because it has been done before):

Christmas Albums: The Bad, the Ugly, and the Bizarre

Christmas is such a beautiful time of the year – decorations, lights, lovely music, red, green, glitter, and so on and so forth. So it’s slightly mind-boggling that with all the beauty of the season, there are some ugly Christmas albums out there.  So fire up the record player, we’re going back in time to look at some bad Christmas album covers.

Its like bad album covers, but with red, green, glitter, and Colonel Sanders.

Trust me on this one, read on!

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Funky as in the music is funky, or funky as in “stinky?”

“Get on down…to the mall!  Do some shopping!”

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  Terrible.

But funky!

As in “Stinky.”

tijuana_christmas

The original Christmas with horns (sorry, Chicago).

Looks like our sombrero-wearing, Christmas music trumpeting, mustachioed gent is experiencing eye popping.  The solution?  Pull those Christmas balls out of his trumpet!

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Umm….ummm….Santa, what child-like legs you have!

wham-last-christmas

“Rudolph!  Why you gotta be picking your nostril?”

Poor Andrew Ridgeley.  He has no idea of the gift George Michael is going to give him.  The gift of a solo career…oh wait, for George!”

That may be worse than the Jelly of the Month Club.

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Disco, Disco Santa suits, Seventies hair, chest hair…you know, I’m not really sure what’s so terrible about this, do you?

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OMG, lawsuit!  Where’s Warner Bros. when Tweety Bird (oh wait, TWITTY Bird) is clearly copyright infringement.  Not copyright infringement?  That blue-eyed creeper behind Conway Twitty.  I’m not sure who that is.

Colonel Sanders loved putting out Christmas albums as much as he loved making chicken.  I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be Santa in the one album cover, or waiting for Santa.  And if he is Santa, what does he leave as presents?  Chicken?  Gift certificates for chicken?

All important questions, people!

bad-religion-father-christmas-album-cover-art

When I was eight years old, I spotted the priest at my childhood church doing just this.  It blew my mind.  This has the same effect.

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Someone in my neighborhood had a black Santa decoration on their front door.  Santa is whatever we want him to be.  Just as long as he’s not everywhere I plan to be.  And by “everywhere,” he better not be hiding in my closet.

Johnny Mathis!

The album on the left is fake, but the sympathy…so real.

Someone get this guy a warm seat!

gene-richard-simmons

And to round out our bad and ugly album cover list, this fake album.

Can you imagine this duet?!

“I…wanna rock and roll all night…and sweat to the oldies EVERYDAY!”

So much more Christmas to come, folks.  None of it ugly.

 

Author:

Writer, former dancer, geek, nostalgia geek, Secretary by day, daughter, sister/in-law, girlfriend, aunt. Yankees and Giants fan, honorary Avenger (I have a pin, so it is official :-) ), MSTie, and Stargate, Thor, and Hello Kitty collector. And if you want to know anything about me: https://allisonveneziowrites.com/about-allison

2 thoughts on “Christmas Albums: Badder, More Ugly, and Just Plain Strange

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