Yesterday, on Throwback Thursday…
The Customer who can’t even…and the customer service that sent him on this downward spiral resulting from years of bad service.
This week, I decided (yet again) to go with a RiffTrax-themed Throwback/Flashback. As you know, I did this a few weeks ago, when I saw RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls in the movie theater. And I’m sure I’ll do it all over again at Christmas time when I go to the Christmas Double Feature on December 1st. But for this week, we learned about what constant bad customer service can do to one’s obviously fragile psyche, and now we’ll learn all about the calendar…and how to use it!
That’s the name of the short, obviously!
There’s no secret behind these things, folks. There’s no creative bone whatsoever!
But of course, this revelation only comes after Alfred Higgins Productions scares you, and we meet our Stumped Child of the Film, Karen!
Karen is sad that she got the date incorrect, and missed her friend’s birthday party, so she wishes she knew how to use a calendar.
And because these films are made on fever dreams and marijuana smoke clouds, Karen’s dream comes true, Talking Car style!
Except this time, it is a calendar that comes to wild, screaming, hallucinogenic life!
I’d love to know who they are and what they did to get their own calendar but, um…we have no idea what’s even going on, much less who these guys are.
They don’t even have names, they just take Stumped Child Karen on a journey to learn the calendar.
And none of it, I should add, is creepy in any way.
The Creepy Calendar Duo teach Karen about the months, the days, and the days of the week, while periodically being interrupted by Third Rate Chachi, who is some unnamed singer type who has a song for everything…and reminds you of his birthday. Just in case you needed to know that.
Seriously, he’s anonymous. No name whatsoever. Which is obviously symbolic, since he can’t actually be a REAL singer…can he?
But, despite all of this terror, Karen actually learns how to use a calendar. She even learns that method of months that have 30 days, and months that have 31 days…and February has only 28!!!
And with this newfound knowledge, she knows how many days until her trip to the zoo, and when he is going to see Uncle Bob.
These shorts are so predictable – kid doesn’t know something, someone opportunistically shows up and says they can help, and kid explores some crazy realm that teaches the kid what they are stumped over. The kid then is encountered by their parent or parents, and kid uses their newfound knowledge to their own benefit. And of course, these shorts always end with winking and smiling.
Again, none of this is creepy.
Um…just click play.
(Edit 11/21/16: I decided to remove the whole video from You Tube, and instead, put up a teaser.)
If you survived this lesson on how to use a calendar, then congratulations…you are awesomely tough!
Or you were just really bored. Or curious. Or curiously bored. Or boredly curious!
Wait, that’s not a word…or in Calendar Land On Drugs, is it?
Good lord, thanks for visiting and reading until the end. Your merits do not go unnoticed!
We’ll get back on track next week with more commercials from the archives, but I hope you once again enjoyed this change of pace. I laughed a little.
Ok, alot. I think it was the contact high from the printing process fumes of the calendar.
And this music.
Who is this guy?!