#NFLFlashback Week 5: Men Who Get Dirt on Their Uniforms Use Aqua Velva!

Welcome to week five of Allison’s Written Words NFL Flashback!

If you haven’t been around for the first four weeks…what have you been doing (besides watching your team)?!  Get caught up on the last four weeks!

Week 1: McDonald’s NFL Kickoff Payoff

Week 2: “Hey, When Did You Get So Interested in Protection?”

Week 3: Random VHS Tape Find

Week 4: Test Drives and Free Videos

And if you’re now caught up, or already were in the first place…welcome to week five!

If you keep score (you see what I did there?!), during week two, Dick Butkus and Mike Ditka informed car buyers about a protection service for their brand new investment.  Think of him as the Unofficial Poster Boy for #NFLFlashback, mostly because I have something coming up toward the end of the season that also features Butkus.  Either he’d love me for this…or want to kick my New York Giants-loyalist ass for finding nostalgic material to write about him.

Or he’d just come after me for being a Giants fan.


In the Quarterback’s jersey.

And in this week’s installment from 1988 (gasp!  1988?!) Dick is back to tell you all about what the scent of choice should be for football players who actually get dirt on their uniforms.  This in the days before metrosexuality and manscaping, and men who wore stuff like this were likely yuppies who wanted to be irresistible to the ladies.

But Dick has one takeaway he wants you to gleam from his PSA of sorts: Quarterbacks use fancy colognes and aftershaves.

His words (on the script), not mine, folks.

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“Hey, what stinks in here?  Not Aqua Velva, that’s for sure!”

Butkus is promoting the stinkier, bluer alternative to cologne and aftershave…Ice Blue Aqua Velva. It’s for real men, like the football players who actually get dirt on their uniforms.  Not to be confused with Quarterbacks.

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Because, as the saying goes…

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There’s also something about polygamy, but that’s a whole other topic that’s not related to this commercial.

And then Dick asks the important question…”Still think Lineman are dumb?” before winking at the camera.

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No…but mugging for the camera and winking kinda is.  Hate to break that to ya.

But of course, don’t take my carefully written smartassery as the basis…you know this article has visual aids that aren’t screenshots.


I apologize for the audio quality – the capture of this commercial was taken from a tape that was recorded in – take a wild guess – 1988, and the sound quality was fair to middling on the tape.  Transferring it to DVD some years ago and recording at a higher volume did not help, but just turn your volume to a reasonable level, and you shall hear it.  It’s a quick commercial.

And that about does it for this gameday.  The Giants are on tonight, duking it out with the 49ers.  I’ll pray for victory.  Not that it matters on a braggers’ level – I don’t brag, but let’s face it, this sign likes stickies that spell out victory:


Enjoy the rest of your day!


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